Lately we've had a ridiculous amount of trouble with people parking in the street and blocking our driveway in the process. I'm not talking about just parking too close to the driveway, I mean full-on, entire length of car blocking us into our own drive. It happens multiple times in a week, sometimes even multiple times in the same day, and it's always due to one of the two houses across the street from us, either Pregnant Man's house or the house that our old neighbors caught on fire. Once in a while we get lucky and the car will be parked in front of the driveway beside ours, still annoying because it's still, you know, illegal and stuff, but less of a problem because the neighbor next door is at work during the day and isn't home to complain, and probably wouldn't complain even if they were home because, let's face it, the neighbor next door is incredibly weird, but that's a story for a different day.
Where was I? A few days ago my brother was home when our good old friend R had a visitor. Said visitor proceeded to park his giant boat-length car directly at the end of our driveway, because our lives are apparently never that easy. We waited a few minutes to see if the car would move. Maybe, for once, the driver would realize they were blocking us in...No such luck.
Once we realized the car wasn't going anywhere, my brother decided he was gonna go hop in OUR car and drive around the block a few times. Slightly childish, sure, but since the alternative was calling the police it seemed like the nicer option at the time.
Now, you should note than when my brother went outside, the car at the end of the driveway wasn't idling, or moving, or even ON. It had been turned off completely and was, quite obviously, PARKED. Isn't that the definition of parking your vehicle, putting it in 'park' and then shutting the engine off? My brother proceeded to back to the end of our driveway, and the moron in the other car had to turn his car back on so he could pull about 5 feet forward. His rear bumper was still partially blocking our drive.
My brother was gone for a few minutes, and when he came back he pulled back into our drive, got out of the car, and was halfway up the front walk when he decided maybe if he asked the other driver nicely if he could stop fucking parking at the end of our driveway. Not in those exact words, but, po-tay-to, po-tah-toe.
The driver's reponse, and I quote: "I'm not parked, I'm waiting for someone."
Um.
Didn't we JUST review what parking was? Your car was OFF, dude! OFF! If you're not parked, what the crap are you doing sitting at the end of our drive?
I'm not sure what was said after that. I do know that while my brother was still arguing with the driver good old R came trotting across the street, shouting that it was all ok because the driver was his brother. Because having your brother being the one parked illegally is SO MUCH LESS ILLEGAL.
When my brother hit the point where he realized he wasn't gonna get through to the dumbass driver he turned around and walked back to the house, and the driver proceeded to shout after him, from the relative safety of his front seat, "Oh go cry about it! Go cry about it!", because the worst comeback he could think of is one I'm pretty sure I've heard from second graders.
My brother didn't cry about it, but he DID call the police. The cops in this town are pretty decent; I realize parking violations are a minor issue compared to robberies and whatnot but for once we had an officer show up within maybe 20 minutes instead of 60 minutes plus. They sent us Giant Cop too--he had to duck to get through the porch door! (I wasn't intimidated--he was wearing shorts. I can't take a policeman seriously when he's wearing shorts. It reminds me of the mailman. *shrug*) He was super nice, and since we explained to him that the parking morons keep doing what they're doing he promised to pass our complaints on and hopefully send a few more patrols our way. I was hoping the car would still be in front of our drive when the cop showed up but no dice. That's ok. The next car that parks there gives me a valid reason to catch up with my good friends at 911...
Honestly. What the hell is wrong with you that you think it's totally fine to just park right in front of some stranger's driveway for however long you feel like? Is this just a thing now? Should I expect it wherever I live from now on?
Banging my head on the desk,
Smart Girl.
