I hate driving. Loathe, despise, abhor, pick a word. I hate driving to work every morning because, I kid you not, there's ALWAYS at least one person that runs a red light. I don't even live that far from work, maybe 2.5 miles, but like clockwork, every day there's someone out there being an idiot. I swear one of these days I'm going to die in my car on my way to work, and then I'm going to come back and haunt whatever idiot ran me over.
People that drive really slow piss me off too, especially little old people that can't drive more than 20mph in the middle of July, on a sunny day, at noon. Are there any better driving conditions than that? Because if there are, I've never seen them. I have nothing against the elderly, except for their awful driving. If you can't keep up with traffic, and you can't see over the dang steering wheel, maybe it's time you think about retiring your license. I will never forget the day I was driving to work, back before I moved, when I still lived with my parents, and some little old lady in a HUGE boat of a Cadillac pulled out of a driveway into a space the size of a postage stamp between my car and a car in front of me. I almost didn't have time to stomp on the breaks and she very nearly got rear-ended. I couldn't even honk at her because all I could do was stare and pray that I wasn't going to get creamed. I've never yet owned a vehicle equipped with a cloaking device, because I'm pretty obviously not a Romulan (or is it Klingon? I can't remember and I'm too lazy to check), so I don't understand how people don't see me coming. But I guess that's where seeing over the steering wheel comes in handy. *shrug*
And what is with people that are completely incapable of using their turn signal? I'm not a friggin mind reader, buttwipe. Unless you would like to get rear-ended, USE YOUR BLINKER! And while you're at it, don't you even think about pulling out right in front of me, because if you think I won't give you an earful of my horn, you'd be wrong. Alright, maybe sometimes I forget to honk, but sometimes I forget my horn isn't in the middle of the steering wheel and then I'm just pounding on it like a moron while it makes no noise. Derp! It makes me insane that even the cops around here don't use their blinkers. They're not OPTIONAL on your car, they're standard, so I know you have them. Just because your job is to enforce the law, that doesn't mean you are therefore above the law, you poophead. I say that with the utmost respect, but honestly...when you got your badge did you forget how to operate a vehicle?
I'm completely aware that I just sound like a complainey b-i-you-know-what right now but I don't even care. This all makes me so irate...I'm never going to be allowed to drive with my Nephew when he learns how to repeat words because I know I'll probably end up shouting something inappropriate at yet another moron driver. Or maybe I'll get lucky and be more like Linda from "Bob's Burgers" and just scream "OUT OF THE WAY, JENNIFER SLOW-PEZ!!"
Honestly.
Sincerely,
Smart Girl
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