There's this thing called a 'belt'. Maybe you should look into acquiring one of those.

I've never understood this fashion trend that's been popping up more and more as of late. I mean, there's really nothing attractive about the waistband of your pants sagging down below your butt-cheeks. Unless you're wearing Batman underpants, I don't particularly feel like looking at your tighty-whities (because boxers ruin the look of pants-below-your-ass, apparently). Wearing your pants that low doesn't make you a bad-ass, and it doesn't make you cool, it just makes you look like maybe you should ask your mommy if she can pick out your outfits for you every morning because you're incapable of dressing yourself.

The part that really gets me, though, is the guys that wear skinny jeans way down below their cheeks. And then, of course, since they're skinny jeans, it makes it hard to walk, and then the guys that are trying SO HARD to look and act all gangster have to waddle down the sidewalk like a penguin. I can't not laugh at them; it's physically impossible for me not to crack up when I spy them, no matter if it's in the middle of Target or just someone on the sidewalk as I drive past.

I see a LOT of this around here. Sometimes on my day off I open the curtains in our living room window and just watch the people go by. More often than not, it's some young guy in his 20's, wearing his baseball cap sideways, pants down around his knees, slouching down the sidewalk with loud rap music blaring from the tiny speaker on his cell phone. Dude, your terrible taste in music only serves to mirror your terrible taste in fashion. Please, do us all a favor; invest in some headphones, and PULL UP YOUR DAMN PANTS.

Sincerely,

Smart Girl.